Episode 140 - How your Self Worth Is Tied to your Hair Loss Healing

First and foremost, this week, Thursday, we start our 3 part series of our free training, how to heal and reverse your hair loss in 4 easy steps. Now really I'm going to give you 6 steps because I always give you bonus material. So if you don't know, if you haven't heard, go ahead and sign up. If you need help signing up, if you need a link to sign up, go ahead and email us [email protected] and we'll get you all set up and squared away. That starts this Thursday, September 5th. I'm really excited to do this for you because I love giving free stuff, I love giving away the free training. I have free PDFs on my homepage where you can download for free as well and consume because again, a lot of this is based on my research, but then also on facts, and of course, will help you grab that edge towards healing and so that's, what's going on this week.

And of course the free training will continue on next week, next Tuesday and next Thursday. So if you have any questions again, feel free to reach out to us. You can contact me on Instagram or on Facebook and we'll be more than happy to help. So today's topic: How your self worth is connected to your healing of your hair loss and your healing process and potentially even your healing journey in general. What does this look like and how is this tied together? So if we were going to look at your self worth, let's go ahead and define that real quick. Your self worth is the internal sense of being good enough you and worthy of healing, worthy of love, worthy of belonging, worthy of XYZ, whether it's a promotion, whether it's children, whether it's anything else that you want. In this case, healing your hair loss, that is self worth. It's the internal sense of being good enough for it. Self worth is often confused with self esteem, which relies on external factors, such as successes and achievements, to define worth and can often be inconsistent, leading to someone struggling with feeling unworthy.

And why do I say that your healing is tied to your self esteem? Well, I will say that anything in regards to health, in my opinion, is really correlated to this sense of self worth, because if you think about it, getting to that next level of health, healing your hair loss and going the extra mile does require time, does require effort, does require investment, does require extras that you may have to do, just like getting a master's degree. When I got my master's degree, it wasn't just tuition, which was already big, it was school supplies, it was, the books, it was graduation, the cap and gown, it was the traveling. It was the study abroad that I did in India through my master's program. It was all these things that they're the extras, but if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right the first time and you go all in. I can't say this enough how going all in is so crucial to your success. It really is because dipping your toe and just like let's see if this works will never work. That mindset will never work. That mode of operation will never work, will never lead you to success. You have to go all in.

So for example, I have a friend who is going through the desire of having another child and she is in her 40s. And so, after speaking and consulting with a bunch of experts, she decided that IVF is not the route that she wants. IVF like a lot of things, it has a very, very low success rate and due to everything that she's evaluated, she's decided to do acupuncture, which last week's episode was on acupuncture. And so she decided to do that, but it's not just doing the acupuncture for her fertility. These are weekly appointments plus all the supplements, plus all these gadgets and gizmos, there's always these extras, but you know what, she's very determined, she's very decided, and she said to me: You know what, I'm gonna go all in. If there's one route that I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go all in into this, and I was like: That's great, fantastic.

And so, the thing is when you choose to do something, go all in, And maybe with children we look back and I was actually looking back at some of my some of my kid pictures of when I was in first grade and second grade and third grade, just in an elementary school. I was looking back at these pictures the other day because my mom had sent them to me and to show my son because he's already in school and he wanted to see pictures of me in school as well. And she sent me one that that brought a smile to my face and it's me in first grade. standing up at a podium in front of the whole school, and I'm running for student government. Student government was open from children from first grade all the way to eighth grade in this school, in this elementary school that I went to. First grade was my first year at this school and I ran for student government. It just it sounded so great to me.

And so she had this picture of me at the podium, you know, saying my speech and everything, I remember teachers telling me the next day, Johanna, your speech was so great. And, you know, if you have that gumption, if you have that yearn and desire, go for it, but go all in. And what I would say is that if you don't go all in, you're never going to know what truly lies on the other side of that possibility. And more to that is that you have one life. Whether it's healing your hair loss, whether it's getting that promotion, getting your master's degree, going for fertility treatments or anything else, don't settle, don't be left with that regret of like: Oh, you know, I did it this way to save money, I did it this way and it's like a mediocre 50% type of method. Like go all in invest in yourself because it's so worth it.

The other day I was at the library and I was talking to the librarian who she and I we've become very friendly because I go to the library quite often, and she's looking to do our master's program, and she said: You know I'm going to do it online because the employer, the library where she works at will cover for it. But she's like: You know, I'm going to miss the aspect of doing it in person or going to the school of my choice. And I was like: Well what would that look like if you had the opportunity to go to the school of your choice to live on campus, or, you know, close to school to, you know, meet and greet and create that network of friends.

She's studying library sciences and to do maybe any trips or any excursions that they have or study abroad options or anything else. And she's like: It would be wonderful, I'd love to do it. And I was like: Well, then why don't you? She's like: Well, money, you know, I still have debt from my bachelor's degree. But I was like: You know what, you have one life and you don't want to regret not doing your master's degree the way you want it just because of your employer is paying for it. They're paying for it, but it's also forcing you to work at the same time, it's also putting you in another contract for 5 years. It also has limitations.

And so she started thinking about that. She's like: You know what, you're right. She's like, thank you for the encouragement, because at the end of the day, this is your life. Do it your way. If you want to heal, if you want X, Y, Z, again, that promotion, the master's degree, the baby, or the house, or anything else, like, go all in. You know, go all in and go for the gold. You know what I mean? Olympians don't go to the Olympics striving for bronze, they don't do that, they strive for the gold. That's huge if you start thinking about it, because their mindset is already at a higher level. Now, granted, if they miss the gold and they get the silver or they get the bronze, fantastic achievement, but at the same time, they're not going into it thinking: Oh, I'm just going to get a certificate that I was there, or I'm not just going to get a picture and not be on the podium. No, no, no, no. They are looking for that podium. In the same way, I will say that I also had that mindset of healing my hair loss with the intent of going for the gold, with the intent of getting my hair back.

I will say that I think that mindset is crucial to your healing to the process to the journey because everyone's journey is going to be looking different. Everyone's journey is different. So whether that takes you, you know, 4 weeks to start to see the hair growth or eight weeks or maybe it's 6 months or whatever it is, it's your own healing journey and granted you can go at your own pace, but I would say still go all in. Don't settle. I think settling is what creates regret. Settling is what creates remorse. Settling is what creates unhappiness. It really does. That's one of the core things that I see is like: Hmm, should have, would have, could have. Those are three words that any psychologist will tell you that we shouldn't be using on others or even on ourselves, right? And so make your decisions. And then be okay with it. Be at peace with it and understand that whatever decision you make right now will have an impact on the rest of your life.

So, for example, me healing over 4 years, yes, has impacted me in a good way. Also, you know, it was tumultuous during those 4 years, but at the same time at the other side of healing at the other side of finally having my hair and finally being over 9 years alopecia free. It's been huge. So huge. So huge. And I can't express that enough. It's been just such a huge blessing, but at the same time, not to say that I didn't work for it, not to say that I didn't go all in. I wasn't dipping my toe. I wasn't trying to like, you know, get a little taste or test of what this looks like. No, no, no, no. You tell me and I'll do it. You say jump and I'll ask you how high or how long or how much. I'm always going to that extra mile for whatever it is that I want. When it came to the hair loss, that was very, very crucial to me.

And I'll say, and I'll be really honest and frank that those closest to me, family and friends would say: Well, why are you spending on that? Why are you investing in that? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing that? Isn't this enough? No, sometimes you need to go a little extra, sometimes you need to go the extra mile. And I will say that extra mile is tough, but that's where greatness comes in. Again, it's a challenge. It is a challenge but it's definitely possible. And once you're on the other side of that healing hair loss, like I am, I got to tell you, there's no regrets. There's no regrets, I've healed, I've kept my hair. It grows at an inch each month consistently and I don't know too many people who can say that in their 40s. I don't know too many people who, who can say all these things. Except of course, for those who are doing the Hair N' Heal program, who are my students, who understand what it takes, who understand the methodology, who understand the step by step process, who understand that implementation is key.

You can't just like learn from the sidelines, you have to be in the game, you have to be inside the game, on the field, playing, active participant. You can't just be on the sidelines watching the movie. This is your life. And when it comes to the hair loss, your self worth is connected by means of you thinking whether you are worthy enough. Are you worthy of the investment? Are you worthy of the extra mile? Are you worthy of X, Y, Z and only you can answer that for yourself. I know you are worthy. I know everyone who is going through anything, any problem, any situation, any health scare, any concern that they may have, whether again, it's the lack of promotions, the, the lack of education or, you know, family as in growing your family or as in hair loss. You're all worth it. All of you are worthy of what you want. All of you are worthy of all your hopes, dreams, and desires. You just got to grab it, you just got to go for it and go for it with heart and soul. Go for it with all your might. Go for it in full faith. Go for it in complete action, consistent action.

What I love doing Many times is reading biographies. I love reading biographies. I've always been attracted to his history, historians, people of great achievements. And you know, we in society today, we call them the goats, right? G. O. A. T. Greatest of all time. There's a lot of quote unquote, greatest of all times, depending on who you talk to, but what I see from them, what I understand from them and granted, this can go into any industry, whether it's business, whether it's sports, whether it's football, whether it's comedy, you name the industry, there's a quote unquote, greatest of all time. And what I've noticed is that all of these people have gone the extra mile. All of these people have been relentless. All of these people, men, women, children, any age, race, ethnicity, they've all been, steady with the progress and they keep going. I think that's another key piece of this is to keep going. Okay, yeah sure. The other 1001 things that you've tried in the past didn't work out, but what's to say that this next thing will or won't work out. You know what I mean?

Sometimes we make decisions based on our past, when we shouldn't allow our past to make those decisions for our future unless we want our future to look like our past.

Does that make sense? Many times we have to keep going, we have to keep doing. We have to keep being consistent. This can, again, go in any industry, from running track, to playing basketball, to comedy, to business, to anything else that you want to do and achieve. The greatest of all times, if you start looking at these special people, because they are special if they're in the history books, right? Is that they've gone the extra mile, they were relentless, they kept going, kept going. This is what's needed, because once you give up, you're giving up on yourself. You're giving up on your hopes and dreams, you're giving up on the life that you want.

You can have your hair, you can have your health, you can have anything and everything you want. Now, it may not look like how you expect it to come out, it may not look like or be in a pretty package with a big, you know, aquamarine, teal colored bow, but it can happen and it may happen in a different way with a different route. But lo and behold, it can happen for you. And so this is what I want to bring up in today's podcast episode, because I think many times we are disillusioned with things we've done in the past and I understand that. I mean, someone who's been there with the hair loss, someone who lost over 50% of her hair, someone who took 4 years to finally see a little bit of hair growth. Like I get this, you know, I'm inpatient as well. I'm inpatient just like you are. I want the hair growth now, I want my health now. I will say for those of you who think you're healthy, even though you have hair loss, think again, cause you're not, you're not healthy. If you have hair loss, point blank.

Now, going back to self worth and going back to your hair growth journey is that a different way of doing things, a different mindset is needed. This is what I'm going to be teaching you in the training that starts this week on Thursday. So I hope you join me, but I wanted to leave you with a couple of things of how you can start to value yourself within these 7 tips. And the first one is to remove the contingencies because we often create standards or conditions that determine when we can be ourselves, when we can love ourselves, when we can give ourselves the worth and the respect that we deserve. So, for example, when this, then that. So, when I win the lottery, then I will start taking care of my health. When I graduate from, I don't know my master's degree, then I will do X, Y, Z.

So these contingencies that we place on ourselves are hindering us, they're holding us back because again, we can have what we want right now. What's to say that you can't go for the promotion, get your master's, and get healing your hair loss all at the same time? What's to say that you can't heal your hair loss, breastfeed your child, and, you know, get your health on the right track, as I've seen with other clients in the Hair N' Heal program, which you can hear on previous podcasts. What's to say that you can't go to school for your child or your child goes to school, heal their hair loss, and, you know, run for student government or become more extroverted as the year goes on? What's to say that you can't heal your hair loss, get pregnant, and then, you know, grow your family all at the same time?

So removing those contingencies is really just holding you back from what you want. If you want things now, you want to heal your hair loss, you want to get the promotion, you want to go on vacation, you want to do this, you want to travel abroad, you want to do X, Y, Z, get married with the love of your life, you can do it all. You can have it all. Remove those contingencies and do it all right now, you can.

Number #2 Forgive yourself, humans make mistakes. This may go in line with the feeling of failure, because I know from speaking to all my clients within the Hair N' Heal program is that by the time they come to me, they've tried a gazillion things, whether it's PRP or acupuncture or whether they've tried the hair skin nails, the neutrophils, the specialty shampoos and serum sprays, etc. You name it, they've tried it. I get it, cause I've been there too. But don't look at those things as failures. Look at those things as learning lessons, look at those things as not a mistake or not something that I spent so much money on this laser cap and it didn't work. Well, okay, I get it, but now you know laser caps don't work. I also have a PDF of things that don't work on my homepage, so you can also look through that.

So it's these things that, it's not about feeling bad or being down on yourself, but it's also about seeing: Okay, this doesn't work, this doesn't work, this doesn't work. Okay, so then let's try this, because it's not any of that. Does that make sense? And it's also getting you closer to the finish line. And so actually, failure feeds into our success and crossing that finish line, it really does. And so if you look at it that way, then you start to see that these past learning lessons, these past mistakes or these past situations only bring us to where we are today, only bring us to that next step, that next level, that next. Action that we need to take.

Number #3 Drop the comparison. This is huge, for women especially. Drop the comparison, because comparing ourselves, yourself, your child, to other children with alopecia, to other people with alopecia, with your same type of alopecia, with your same diagnosis, with your same this, that, It's never the same. It's never the same, it never really is. I was on a coaching call yesterday with all my clients and I'll tell you that they can have all the same hair loss. For example, let's say it's alopecia areata, or it could be alopecia totalis, or female pattern baldness, or traction alopecia, or it could be scarring alopecia, what have you, it doesn't matter. They could all have the same alopecia, but the causes, the root causes, the issues, the challenges will all look different.

What's easy for me might be hard for you, what's hard for you might be easy for me and vice versa. So it will all look different. You can't compare yourself and I think in one way, you know, I didn't have anyone to compare myself to and I've never been that type. I've never been that type to compare myself to anybody because I know I'm always doing my own race, I'm always doing other things and I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. And I do know I'm very disciplined. If I want something, I get it done and I get it achieved and accomplished. That's one thing I know about myself.

And so the thing is you also got to know yourself too, but understand that your strengths and your weaknesses can only be used to your benefit, right? And so your situation is not going to be the same as anyone others, even if you guys are twins, let's say you have a twin brother or twin sister that both of you twins are on this alopecia journey and both of you have the same diagnosis. Well, it's going to look different. And I'm telling you, cause I've dealt with families with multiple siblings, not twins per se, but multiple siblings with alopecia and their root causes are a little different, even though they have the same mom and dad, even though they live in the same household. It's always going to be a little different. Even if, again, like I said, your twin also has it.

Number #4 Get outside your comfort zone. This is huge, I mean, do you think that Olympians, that people, those goats that I mentioned, the greatest of all times, were just sitting on the couch Netflixing and, and just trying to, you know, mull things over and trying to you know, think that things were going to be okay and figure themselves out little by little or they can, that they can put things off?

When you have a sense of urgency, which I know you do because you have that hair loss and it's absolutely, puts you in this situation where you want answers and you want results right now, you need to get outside your comfort zone to achieve those results. You need to get outside your comfort zone of what is happening. You know, your norm so that you can get to those results. I actually saw Tom Brady speak online and he was saying: Youou know, I've always made difficult choices while my friends or teammates or classmates were sleeping in. I was up at 5AM working out when my teammates or classmates were doing X, Y, Z. I was ahead of the game staying later and doing more. And so the thing is you have to get outside your comfort zone, even when you don't want to. This is how you become amazing and this is how you achieve your results and achieve your hair growth. Getting outside your comfort zone is absolutely necessary.

Number #5 Challenge your negative thoughts. And so on the flip side to this, getting out of inside your comfort zone is already uncomfortable, right? Are you with me? So then the next step, challenging your negative thoughts, your negative thoughts are gonna say: Oh no, don't do this. How about you stay in? How about you sleep in? Oh no, don't work out today. Oh no, don't do this today. Oh no, forget that. That's too much money. Oh no, forget that. That's not worth it, it's not gonna work. It's just like everything else. It's all these negative thoughts are keeping you stuck. I can't say it any other way, it's just keeping you stuck. Negative thoughts keep you stuck. I will say that sometimes those around us want to keep us stuck too. Unintentionally, they don't mean it, but their words hinder us.

So, for example, when I was going through my alopecia treatment, or "treatment" my 4 years of trying to figure this out, I should say. You know, I had people saying: Oh why are you doing that? Oh, you've spent enough on that, or you've spent, you know, enough time and money and resources on this, this and that. Isn't it enough? When is it going to be enough, Johanna? I would tell them: Look, and I would block out their negative critiques, so much so where I just cut them off. And the thing is, sometimes you do have to create boundaries from the negativity, from the critics, from the critiques because to me, it's never enough until I get what I want, it's never enough until I got my hair, it's never enough until I upgraded my health, it's never enough until I maintained my hair growth at a certain rate, until I've become my best, until I continue to be my best.

You have to continue to do more for what you want, you really do. It's just like going to the gym, you can't go to the gym once a week and think that's enough. You can't go to the gym once a week and think that assuming you're, let's say 35 years old plus, but that's enough. And I only say this because biologically speaking, people above the age of 35, 40 is when we start to lose muscle mass at a speedier rate, so it takes us longer to create the muscle mass that we could have done when we were 18 or 20 versus now at 35, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80. Does that make sense? So every 3 days we are losing muscle mass, which means that if we were going to go to the gym and lift weights once a week, it doesn't cut it because now we're already losing 2 to 3 times more muscle mass per week and not moving the needle in terms of maintaining or even creating more muscle mass.

So does that make sense when it comes to challenging negative thoughts? You really need to cut it at the head and put that to the side, even if it comes from loved ones and friends, because the negativity is only going to keep you stuck, keep you doubting yourself, keep you from reaching your goals.

And I will say that when I've always gave myself lofty goals, my mom, and I love my mom. But she's also been my biggest critic. And, you know, she would say to me, or maybe not even say anything, but she would look at me a certain way, or she would have a certain, you know, emotion on her face where I could read it and I knew, I knew what she was trying to convey. I knew what she was trying to tell me. And I always saw that as a challenge and , I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for it, cause it made me force myself to rise up to the challenge. Alopecia in many ways, hair loss in many ways is a challenge, it's a challenge for everybody. It's a challenge for those who are new to it. It's a challenge for those who've been dealing with it for over 5 months, 5 years. I know it's a challenge and it's teaching us to rise up. It's teaching us to get to the heart of it, it's teaching us to go all in because again, dipping your toe in dabbling is not going to help, it's not going to help. It's not going to help at all. It's only going to muddy the situation even more.

And the last thing I would say is embrace who you are. What I mean by that is embrace you with all your qualities, with all your strengths, with all your weaknesses, and focus on the positive. Embrace who you are and you are not your hair loss. You are not your alopecia, you are not your diagnosis, you are not your anxiety, you are not your depression, you are not anything you don't want to be. That's where we need to come back to the foundational of who we are, what we're worth and focus on that path. What is it that you want? You want the hair growth? Let's do it. You want the masters? Go for it. You want the promotion? It's yours. Maybe not in the company you want, maybe not in the department you want, maybe not with that same boss, but it's definitely possible. It's possible for everybody. You want that family, you want that extra child, you want to grow, you want to learn, you want to do, explore, etc. You can do it, you can do it all, but embrace those strains.

Take action and keep going and keep going and don't settle. Keep going and do not settle, because by the time you're at a certain age, you're going to look back and you'll be like: Hmm, did I regret that? Should I have done more? Could I have done more? Would I have done more? At the end of the day, that's who you will be responding to is to yourself, not to your loved ones, not to your mom, not to your, partners, not to your children, it's to you. You're going to be looking at yourself in the mirror saying: Hmm, I could have done more, I should have done more, I would have done more. And I got to say, when you want something, when those goats, when those greatest of all times want something, they don't give themselves excuses, whether it's time, effort, money, investing this or that they don't give themselves excuses. They just go for it and they figure it out, they figure out a way. That's what I did.

I figured out a way, even living off of my savings, even not having a job, even in transition, having just met my fiance at the time, boyfriend, fiance, now husband type of situation, moving abroad without any, anything, no job, no nothing, no furniture, no nothing, just like going and I figured it out. I know with guidance, with a step by step process, you can figure it out too. And not just that, but in less time with the support, with the community. And that's how and why Alopecia Angel was created. Because I want you to heal sooner than I did. I don't want you to take 4 years, I don't want you to do it yourself, I don't want you to try to figure this out on your own. There's no need to do this on your own, you can do this in less time, you can do this and have answers in your back pocket and be like: Okay, this is step 1, 2, 3, 4. Okay, where am I? I'm in step 3. I need to get to step 4. Let's do it. Boom.

So I hope you will join me for the training that starts Thursday, September 5th and I look forward, I will be going live and I will see you there. If you have any questions, concerns, email us again [email protected] we are here to serve and support you, and thank you so much for your time. You are worth it, every, every bit of it, you are worth it. Take care.