Episode 84 - How This Will Stop You From Seeing any Progress in Healing your Hair Loss

Hi everybody and welcome back to the Alopecia Angel Podcast I am your host, Johanna Dahlman. And today we are going to be talking about the one thing that will hold you back from any and all progress from your hair loss journey.

This is very concerning because it really affects all of us. It affects all humans, and it really gets to the nitty gritty of why we aren't where we want to be. It gets to the nitty gritty of why we aren't seeing the progress we want to see, or why things haven't worked out in our favor. I say this from experience, but I also say this also from studying the subject.

And what I'm talking about is the ego. And we all have an ego. It keeps us safe. It's part of our identity. It shapes right our beliefs or thoughts. How we feel and how we think and how we present ourselves in the world. And so many times when it comes to your ego. Yes, it's trying to keep you safe at all times, even when you're not aware of it, but at the same time, it's also holding you back. And a lot of it is rooted in fear.

Because again, the ego keeps you safe. So this is when you think that there's a survival mechanism innate to you and at the same time, it's trying to keep you safe from whatever dangers out there, way before it was, you know, the tiger who's running after you. So this is where the ego really uses different ways as a defense mechanism.

The ego uses worry and fear. So again, the fear of going bald, the fear of losing all your hair, the fear of this getting worse. It also uses ill will avoidance and aversion. You know, maybe thinking: Oh let's try this PRP, let's try this new serum, let's try minoxidil, let's try this, let's try the drug trial that's coming out, let's try this new whatever that's coming out. It's averting the situation because you know, you need to do the work, you know that healing naturally and holistically is the best way. However, your ego is like: nope, let's just go the easy route.

This is human nature. We all want to take the easy shortcut to healing. This is where in hair loss, at least there are no shortcuts. There are no quick fixes, and this is why you've struggled as long as you have, and this is why I've also struggled as long as I've had to, to really get this result.

I've gotten this result and then some, because not only do I have, you know, my full head of hair, but it's been more than eight years and I still don't even worry or think about or fear hair loss ever again, because I know I'm in control. And so this is where I want you to be. But at the same time, we need to recognize where our ego is. And why it's holding us back.

A lot of times too, that another ego defense mechanism is boredom, drowsiness, inertia, doubt, lack of conviction distractions, and we can be distracted with our five senses and our thoughts and so many things. And so distraction is part of that. And this is where we, potentially say no or hold off to try to see, you know, what could keep us and make us feel more comfortable and more safe because that's what the ego's job is to do.

And so, some weasel words that the ego uses is: try, I can try to do this. Can't, I can't do this. Need, have to. I need, have to, or should. Pride. Just. Sorry. I versus we. And versus but. Not.

These are all weasel words that are used in terms of coming to your defense mechanism. So for example, if you heard a student say I will try to pass the class. Well, you're already setting yourself up for failure. There is no try it's either do or don't do right.

It's black or white, it really is. It's either do or don't do. You could either take the class and do it fully and do your best and know and start with the right foot forward that you're going to believe in yourself and also believe that you're going to do all the tasks, all the homework, all the extra credit, etc. So that you can pass the class with flying colors, instead of already giving yourself a lack of a head start and saying: Oh, I'll try.

Any student or any person who said: I'll try, normally doesn't commit a hundred percent and that's, what's needed. You need to commit to yourself and committing takes so much so much from us in the beginning, but then it also challenges us because when you commit to something, it challenges you.

So for example, I started getting back into a new workout routine and this workout routine, I haven't touched for probably three years. And it was because of COVID, it was because of moving, it was because of so much transition, but now that I'm back into it, I went full force in and there's a commitment when you pay, there's a commitment, when you have to show up to the class, there's a commitment to the teacher, there's a commitment to yourself. And already in one week, I'm already seeing differences and changes in my body. And that's a huge thing. So once you commit, like you're going to go for it and you're going to go all in and that's what healing hair loss takes, but we need to take the ego out.

So for example, where we use: can't, you're telling your brain that it's okay to stop looking for solution and disempowers you as the choice maker in your life. It prevents you from looking for other paths saying: I won't as much greater integrity. So can't is like: Oh, I can't do that for X, Y, Z reason. Well, this already sets you back and allows your brain to say: Okay we're done, we're not going to do anything, we're not going to move forward. This is very disempowering and it's just the opposite when I'm trying to give you, I want to empower you. So you say no more hair loss, this stops now, and we can do this now.

And so this is the type of situation that you have control of. So when I see sob stories or stories in general online of people with hair loss, understand that that's a choice. There is a choice to heal and there's also a choice to continue to have your disease, your autoimmune disease, or anything else in your situation happen thrive. We can foment and encourage disease or we can encourage and foment the change needed for getting healthy.

It's very, very possible for everyone to heal. It's very, very possible for everyone to also just, you know, be comfortable and do nothing and take the easy way route and just say, well, it was me. That's also very easy.

The other side is saying: Okay, I'm going to climb this Mount Everest, I'm going to take all the steps needed, including those baby steps, and I'm going to get my hair back and I'm going to succeed in this. That's the mindset that we're looking for. That's the beginning that we should all be starting at. That's the starting point that we need to say no more hair loss, this is not controlling my life, this is not going to control my dating, my marriage, my relationships, my work. It's not going to control how I show up in life because that's what it's doing. It does. It takes over hair loss, takes over our lives and it really does affect us in every area of life from our activities to work to life, personal business, etc. It really does for both men and women.

And of course, in women's case, it attacks women more than it does men. Over 80% of women, girls as well, ladies see autoimmune hair loss, alopecia areata, totalis, universalis over other types of hair loss compared to men.

So this is where my heart goes out to all of you because I too was a byproduct of that. I too went through it. I too went through it, but I also decided that this wasn't going to be my end I'll be all, this was not going to be my destiny and I was going to heal and reverse this. And so you can too. And I know you can.

When we just say: Sorry, we need to be aware of how we are using sorry. Reverse the word for a meaningful apology rather than using it as a filler word swap. Sorry for burdening you with all this for thank you for listening. Women in general, we use sorry a lot, this is something we need to stop saying. For example, I can be in the grocery store aisle and I'll be like: Oh, sorry, you know, I'm in your way, but really it's, excuse me, or excuse us or this type of thing, instead of saying, sorry.

So being cognizant of how our brain Implies and interprets these words as we say it. So, for example: Should. Should apparently is another word that we shouldn't be saying. It implies shame and guilt around something you would like to be different in your life and tells your nervous system that you are not good enough unless you do X, Y, or Z. Instead, you say, you want, you choose to, you're going to, you get to.

And so just with a switch of words, we can automatically reprogram our brain to think in a different way to almost alienate the ego and put it to a side and then also allow us to empower ourselves so we can move forward into our desired aptitude, into our desired

behavior, into our desired life. Which is to live with full hair, not having to worry about it. Except for how you're going to style it and if those grays are coming out, that's it.

And so the ego is there to put you in a safe spot, but this is where comfort thrives and it's not where the change happens. And many of you, you are stuck in the mud trying to figure this out, trying to figure this out and I'm telling you, I've done the work for you. I'm telling you that the ego is trying to keep you safe. And so when you hear yourself say: Oh, I can try. Oh, I can't. Oh, I have to do this. I can't do that. Oh, I should do this or just that, or sorry, or any of these words, understand that that's your ego taking place. Understand that that's your ego trying to keep you safe.

And again, it's all fear-based. Everything is really rooted in fear or in love. And so when we love ourselves we invest in ourselves. When we love ourselves, we do things for ourselves. We put us as a priority, we take care of ourselves, we understand that all these things are needed for us to be a better person for others as well.

I recently came back from a business conference and it was amazing to see so many other like minded people, but then also to have so many learnings. And I will say that I went into this business conference, not knowing the full itinerary, not understanding exactly what was going to be taught exactly what was going to be provided, I didn't know all the nitty gritty and yet, I was surprised and delighted, and yet I came out transformed in many ways in just one week, I feel like I've transformed. It was five days, actually, in just five days, I feel like I was transformed on many levels. And I know that those levels and those changes are permanent.

But what I'm trying to get at is that I went into it, not knowing all the details. And so a lot of times you need to trust the process, you need to like shut the ego out, quiet the ego and move forward in confidence that this is the right path for you. And just like this business retreat was the right path for me, there's going to be many things that come up to you and potentially are the right path, and so it's up to us to say: you know what, we need to move forward with this. We need to move forward with that. And to take a stand, because if not now, then when, and the thing is, it's like, you don't want to live with regret because that's the other thing.

You know, if you don't take a stand and if you don't empower yourself, whether it's hair loss or something else, then you're always going to have that regret. I could have done this five years ago, oh, I could have done this two years ago, I could have done this six months ago, and I could have already had a full head of hair and I could have already been healthy and I could have already been, you know, having the best life ever.

And so these are things that we ourselves are holding us back from when we unconsciously let the ego take over and keep us in a comfort zone because nothing grows in comfort, not your muscles, not your brain, not your body, not your health, nothing grows in comfort. Ask anyone who is a triathlete or any athlete of any sort, you have to put in that effort, whether it's practice or whether, you know, it's rest or whatever it is that the athlete goes through.

It's effort and it's work. And so just like, if you want to be the top engineer or the top student of your class, or, you know, the best at your work, etc., this all takes effort, all of it does, but then the reward comes at the end and you will be rewarded guaranteed.

So in this case, I wanted to talk about the ego. Have you realized exactly where this is holding you back? Probably in many areas of your life and not just in hair loss. And also, sometimes when we try to do things our way, that's not the best way. If you've been trying to do things your way for the last 5, 10, 15 years, and you're still not getting results. That's the exact definition of insanity.

Trying to do something over and over again and not getting the results you want. So many ways we have to switch up what we think is right, what we think is correct for us and try that way instead. I actually just had a new client and we went over her intake form and she's, and she gave me a bunch of, you know, stipulations and the thing is, it's when I see this type of client, which is rare in all honesty, it's rare. But when I see this type of client, it's because it's the ego holding them back. It's the ego taking them out of their comfort zone.

I understand everything that's new is uncomfortable, but I will say with change, you get results with a proven method, you get results. And so for this client I'm going to have to have a conversation with her and let her know that it's the ego holding her back. And the thing is, it's like, if you don't follow the program, you won't get results. If you're going to do it your way, then you might as well not do it at all because it's not going to work with your way because your way hasn't been working for you for the last so many months and years. But my way works not just for me, but it works for all my hundreds and thousands of clients that you can see the testimonials online, but then also you can see the interviews on our podcast.

And so I invite you to rethink that and reevaluate your way versus a proven method, your way versus getting out of your comfort zone, your way versus learning what it really needs needs to happen and what needs to occur so that you can see hair growth and never see hair loss again, because that is possible, and that is in your future, and it's also in your control. That's the beautiful part of all this, everything is in your control. Everything.

So what you think about is what you will attract. So if you think about I don't know, taxes, then you're going to be bringing them, bringing on more of that tax currency and tax situation that maybe you don't want to get or have. If you think about more hair loss, you might be getting more hair loss. If you think about more hair growth, it's a step in the right direction and it will lead you to the next step.

And I will say that our minds are very powerful. And so watch what your thoughts are, watch how you feel, watch your behaviors, because it all has a ripple, it's all interconnected.

But again 100% good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing, and in this case, when it wants to keep you in the comfort zone, it's not necessarily allowing you to grow and allowing you to take that next step towards the life that you really want. So check your ego, re evaluate, and rethink how you speak, how you think, your behaviors, and then also the words that you're using, but understand that at the end of it, it's all fear based, and fear gets us nowhere.

If anything, I would say, if you fear anything, move closer to it, move towards the fear. Why? Because then you'll be able to dismantle it, just like the child who's afraid of the dark. When you walk into the room, turn on all the lights, look underneath the bed and see that there's no monsters, that there's no boogeyman, that there's nothing hiding there, you dismantle it. And this is what we need to do, we need to dismantle the fear. We need to dismantle the fear of hair loss. You can overcome this just like I have and just like all my clients have, you can do this, this is not, this is not impossible.

Everything is possible for you. As long as a) You believe and b) You take action steps towards it and keep that open mind. That's really big. Just like I took that, that leap of faith and I kept an open mind during that business conference, it was well worth the time and money and so worth it because again, in five days I was, I was changed, I was brand new on many levels and it was fantastic. And I think that many times when we need to have all the details, what we need to see what we're getting, when we need to see all these line items and bullet points. Again, that's the ego keeping us safe.

So rethink that and I hope this helps you reevaluate what's going on in your own life because the ego keeps us safe in many reasons, in many areas, and it can keep you from a big decision at work, maybe from a personal decision with your relationships or maybe other big decisions that have to do with your family. It will hold you back.

This is critical because once that sets in, then it keeps you stuck and it won't free you. And so freedom is on the other side of fear. It's a freeing sensation, there's freedom and there's results. I hope this helps. I'll talk to you next time on the Alopecia Angel Podcast.

Take care.