Episode 93 - Everything You Want - Wants You

Hello, everybody. And welcome back to the Alopecia Angel Podcast. I am your host, Johanna Dahlman. And today we're going to be talking about how everything you want, wants you as well. And this is a broad statement, but at the same time, it's very true. And once you start going to the granular, you start seeing where potentially you could be improving, right? You start seeing where potentially you can be doing better to get the results that you want.

And I actually heard this from someone the other day, and she was telling me how she believes that her body has given up on her, how her body has failed her, how her body is just not, cooperating. And, I posed the question to her and I was just like: What are you doing to support it? What are you doing to get better? What have you tried? And everything she mentioned was very superficial. And we can't just have a superficial relationship with ourselves. We can't.

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. Let me say that again. The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one with yourself. Why is that? Because it trickles down into every aspect of your life. Every aspect, whether that's your relationships, your job, your career, with friends, with your spouses, with children, etcetera. It starts with you. It starts with you and it starts with you loving you and understanding what you need and giving yourself what you need and not holding back. I see it all the time where some people are just very stingy with themselves. And that's not a loving place to be like, would you be, stingy with your friends and your family. I'm the opposite, I tend to be over generous. But at the same time with yourself, it's like you should love yourself as much as you love anyone else who you're thinking about right now.

Let me ask you that. Who is the one person you love the most in the world? Do you treat yourself as good or as great as you treat that person? Think about this. And for many of you, maybe that answer is no. And I would hope to God it's not, that it's yes, that you do. But if you do, what are you doing to support yourself? Because this lady who, she came to me, she's in my program and she's telling me my body's failed me. I have thyroid, I have alopecia, I have this, I have that. It sounds like a woe is me victim mentality scenario. It sounds like me where the perspective is shifted from my body this and that versus, looking in the mirror and saying, what am I doing to protect, secure, support, love my body. What is she doing?

And like I mentioned, it's all very high level superficial stuff, but nothing granular, nothing with deep roots. And it's just like a friendship. If you just want friends to party with. That's one type of friend. But what about the friend that you may need when you actually have a problem, when your car breaks down, when you can't pay rent? When, you lost something, your wallet somewhere, and you need some, someone to help you find the wallet with you, or what about someone who needs to give you a ride to the airport, or someone, whatever is there for you, and in case of emergency, do we have those deep rooted relationship with ourselves? Because that's huge. That's everything. It really is. It's everything.

And so in order to do the work, in order to understand that it's not your body, it's really you, we need to also start looking at our steps, at our footsteps and start looking behind. Okay, what are our footsteps before this? What did we do? What are those blind spots, right? If you need a refresher on what blind spots are, go to podcast number two and understand a little bit more of those blind spots. And again, blind spots are really hard to pick out on your own. You have to be extremely self aware, and this is why that evaluation is key.

But, everything you want, wants you. Everything you want. And so if you don't have what you want right now in your life, start asking yourself why. Because, the way I see it, the way the perspective is that you should be getting everything that you want. The hair, the health, the happiness, the love, the career everything and you can and it's never too late. But what are we doing to help ourselves? What are we doing to get out of the victim mode and get into an empowered mode? Okay, something happened to you. Okay, you have hair loss, but what are you doing about it? Are you just you know, sitting on your chair and just trying to woe is me and trying to just see the doctors and the doctors say no, sorry, or you think that maybe the steroid injections or the minoxidil is going to give you that break, break free moment when it won't. When if you've been listening to me, and you probably already have the free PDF that you can find on my website about the medications that cause hair loss, but then also about the medications for alopecia that give you so many different negative side effects.

And so once you have just even a little bit of information, then you're like, wow, okay, this is medications. Not the route I want to go. Okay. Maybe this is not the way, but maybe this is. And so everything you want wants you. It really does, and I was listening to a lady yesterday and she was telling me about how the subconscious of how we truly feel, how we truly think, how we truly believe is 98% of us. And the 2% that you see is your consciousness. To make this really simple, have you ever seen the iceberg effect? You have an iceberg, it's floating on the water, and you just see the tip of the iceberg above the water, and then down below the water is your subconscious. That's 98%, and it's a lot bigger, you can't see it because it's down below in the dark, deep blue ocean. It's 98% of your thoughts, beliefs, of what you truly think is real or not real or possible or not possible for you. That's your subconscious. And that little peak of iceberg above the water level, which is the 2%, that's your consciousness.

For example, today, to me, it's cold outside, but maybe for you, it's not. And the reality is, it's it's really cold for me, I'm wearing, multiple wool socks. It's really cold for me today. And maybe for you, it's not. But the reality is like my threshold of cold is probably less than yours. And so my subconscious can hold me back. Me thinking that everything or every day from here on out until spring is going to be super, super cold, and that will hold me back from, let's say, not going outside, maybe from not playing and, any winter sports or maybe not, doing other activities or, not wanting to just go outside in general.

Ways that your subconscious can hold you back is by those Penetrated beliefs, those beliefs, those thoughts that either we inherited, either that were brought to us, either that were told to us and we just accepted without questioning. For example, one belief that I see many times, in the beginning is that there's no cure for alopecia. That's a very common belief. And where did most people get this belief? They got it from the doctor's office. They got it from Google, they got it from an internet search. To me, those aren't any valid resources or people to say: Hey, stop me in my tracks of finding a better way. I found a better way. And as you can see, I have my hair today. And I'm loving life and everything I've ever wanted. I know wants me to everything I want, I know is on its way or I already have. And that's where we should be.

We should be in a state of it's on its way, very hopeful, just like christmas is on its way, my birthday is on its way. So and so is on its way. My family visiting is on its way. We should be in that hopeful state. Cause in that hopeful state is where more positive outcomes happen more so than the opposite. To get out of that negative loop, we need to reframe our subconscious. We need to reframe what our beliefs are. Do you truly believe that there's no cure for alopecia after seeing the thousands and gazillion pictures and testimonials on my website or even from me? Just because you see other bald people, promoting alopecia in their own way doesn't mean that has to be your way doesn't be, doesn't mean it has to be your fate or your destiny.

And just like I told my client who was under the belief and spell that her body is broken, her body has given up on her. And I had to tell her that it's not that there are some roadblocks. There are some blind spots, and then once you overcome them, once you fix them, everything's better. Just like when you have a leak in the roof. Once you fix it, everything's better. No more leaky roof. But what happens when you let the leaky roof persist? That leaky roof starts leaking in multiple places, and then the hole where the leak is gets bigger and bigger, and things get worse. It's not just damage to the roof, but maybe damage to the furniture or the kitchen or anywhere else, or maybe the floor, right?

And so these are things that you want to keep in mind. Like, where did your belief come from? Where did your thoughts and your feelings about something come from? Because potentially they're skewed. I was talking to my neighbor yesterday, and she has all four kids, all four kids homeschooled. And she's got a two year old all the way to an 11 year old, and she started homeschooling for various reasons. And, she tells me it's the best thing ever, but before she was very hesitant before she was almost not really willing to be open to the idea of homeschooling. She thought that her kids would be antisocial, or backwards, or a little weird, or a little this, or a little that. And it's just the opposite. All her kids are very social, very outgoing, very smart, etc.

And sometimes our perspectives lead us to believe one thing when in reality, it could be another. And so we have to question where did these beliefs come from? Where did this belief that this client was telling me her body has failed her? Where is that belief coming from? Lo and behold, it's her own immediate family that was, that's telling her just give up and fueling that, fanning that flame of give up, and just accept that you have this. Accept that you have alopecia, accept that you have, a certain thyroid condition except that you have X, Y, Z health concerns.

That makes it really hard, doesn't it? When you have your spouse and your mom and family telling you to accept a certain situation that you don't want to accept. And I'm here to tell you, you don't have to accept anything and at the same time, you don't have to explain anything. Your journey is your journey.

Your health is your health. You want to keep going. You want to make this happen. You can. It took me four years, but I guarantee you, it'll take you less than a year. I guarantee you that it took me over four and it'll take you less than a year to get to the root cause, to get to your situation, to understand what's going on, to make the changes. And to heal, you can do this. Anyone can, and don't think you need the support of others. I did this alone with no support from anybody. Yes, my boyfriend at the time who was now my husband was supporting me, but in a very low key superficial way.

And the thing is, it's no one can really support you because they've never been in your shoes. They don't know what's going on. They don't know what you've been through. This is why the group coaching calls are priceless. This is why the community we have inside the Alopecia Angel program is priceless because there's other people going through the same thing you are, and we're cheering everyone on. And we're learning from everybody, because we don't all have the same blind spots, nor do we all have the same health concerns. But yet we're seeing miracles happen and everybody and really, it's not a miracle. It's very, it's a very natural process. And once you understand and have that knowledge, you're golden forever.

So everything that you want wants you. And many times it's our subconscious that holds us back. Many times it's our subconscious that won't allow us to believe certain beliefs. For example, that you can cure alopecia. I'm the first to say it, I've cured my alopecia. There's no shame in that. I'm extremely proud and I did it all by myself. And I'm very proud to say that I've helped thousands heal and reverse their alopecia as well because you can, and this can be gone. And this could be just a chapter in your life and you keep moving forward, living your best life. Everything you want wants you.

Remember that. But what are we doing to inhibit that from not happening? What are we doing? How are we acting? What are we believing? What are we doing? That is preventing everything we want to happen. Think about that. I'm going to leave you with those thoughts because many times it's a self reflection. And in this episode, it's a self reflection of again, your actions, your words, your thoughts, your beliefs, And, that whole subconscious iceberg, that whole subconscious iceberg, 98% of your subconscious dictates the life that you're going to have, not the 2% of your consciousness, but the 98% it dictates.

So if you're not seeing progress in your hair growth, if you're not seeing progress in your love life, if you're not seeing progress in your career, if you're not seeing progress in other areas of your life, this is where we need to start to ask ourselves these questions.

What is our subconscious fueling us, telling us, making us believe, which potentially is holding us back. I hope this helps you. It helps me a lot. And I wanted to share this because it's a big aha for many people with the subconscious and the consciousness. And again, everything you want wants you and it's in your hands.

Take care. Bye for now.