Episode 95 - Feel Like Quitting? Here Are my Tips!

Welcome back to the Alopecia Angel podcast, I'm your host, Johanna Dahlman. Thank you so much for joining me today. I wanted to start with two great, success stories that have recently occurred. One is from my current program, the Hair N' Heal I have a young lady by the name of Juliet and she is alopecia universalis and she has seen hair growth in week three. Week three, that's in less than a month, that's less than 20 days that she's already seen hair growth. So kudos to her, congratulations, I know you're listening, so I wanted to give you a shout out and celebrate you vocally to everybody else.

And then also, I wanted to go ahead and also mention another alopecia universalis client of mine who is attending university down in Arizona and he runs track and when we met there was a great connection over the phone with him and with his mom. His mom is a pharmacist and she was against medications, she understands the ramifications of medications for her son and so she also wanted the natural and holistic growth. She chose to do the program and he went from alopecia universalis to full hair growth and thriving.

He runs track, super healthy and the mom sent me an email with pictures yesterday and she is ecstatic, grateful and over the moon that her son is healed and can be in college and maintain his hair and be in college and thrive, be in college and not have to deal with hair loss, be in college and focus on his studies, focus on his sports and move on from hair loss because guess what? There is another life on the other side of hair loss. There is another life on the other side of alopecia and it's waiting for you. It's waiting for you. Just like it's waiting for me because I've just healed and we move forward from that. We move forward and our best life is yet to come. It's on the other side of this challenge.

It's on the other side of this obstacle, which leads me to today's podcast episode of feeling like quitting and many times we do we feel like quitting because things get hard because things get busy because it gets messy or because we're in a position where we just like, we just want to give up. And this got me thinking the other day when I went back to exercise for the first time and I took a really hard Pilates class and the instructor really gave it to me and somewhere amidst in the class. I felt like quitting.

I was like, how would I just leave? And I'm thinking to myself, should I leave? Should I just go? Should I like take it easy for the rest of the day? And I was like, no. You're not a quitter. You keep going and if you need to take a break, even in class, you take a little breather, you take a little stretch and then you keep going, then do so. What I would say for anyone who wants to quit on their hair loss journey, for anyone who wants to stop, these are my tips. First and foremost, let's look at the big picture. First and foremost,

what does quitting give you? It gives you nothing. Nothing at all. It actually creates more stagnation. It keeps you stuck where you are.

It prolongs the issue of hair loss. It prolongs the issue of seeing the hair come out or potentially you're already bald. So you're just going to continue to be bald, right? It prolongs that even more. And so instead of healing now in two months and getting on and moving forward and getting to your best life. It's keeping you stuck where you are prolonging the situation making it longer to obtain it. So we can shorten the time frame of healing when we take action. So that's something for you to consider. The other thing I wanted for you to consider is that this. Potentially can set you back in more areas than just one. Okay, you have hair loss. Okay, you feel like quitting. Okay, you want to go ahead and quit altogether, quit looking quit doing quit thinking quit you know, everything.

But what happens here? This can set you back in so many other areas. For example, had I quit my journey of healing alopecia, I probably wouldn't have gotten pregnant on the first try at 40 years old. I probably wouldn't have had my first baby at 40, I probably wouldn't have healed all those other symptoms that were lingering, like the insomnia, the dry hair, the dry skin, the dry eyes, the depression, the anxiety, the digestive issues and everything else that was going on, I probably wouldn't have healed it.

And I will tell you that all those other layers of symptoms are so much deeper. And what I will say, this is, I talk a lot on these podcasts, but in the coaching that I do with, With our alopecia angel community and family. I'm very vulnerable. I tell you exactly what I was going through, how I was feeling, what I'm working on, what things I had to work on my blind spots. I'm very open and vulnerable. And this is, I think the only way to be so that people really understand you and see how far you've come, and this is why I want to congratulate Juliet and Shannon for her son and her for, going that extra mile for seeing all this healing and being able to do it.

And sometimes again, you just need a guide, but going back to you feeling like you want to quit. So we already know this is going to prolong your situation, we already know that this will set you back in more areas than one. Because let's say you're in a deep depression with a lot of angst. Let's say you can't sleep at night, you can't focus at work, let's say your dating life has gone to the toilet and everything else has gone to the toilet as well. Do you think things are going to get better on its own? They won't. Do you think that everything else in your life is going to get better on its own? No, because it all comes back to the hair loss.

It all comes back to it. And this is another thing, as I'm thinking about the ramifications of not healing of quitting altogether, those ramifications look like me probably not having succeeded in getting married to my husband because no one wants to be married, right? To somebody who's depressed and anxious and, going through all these things and has so much turmoil and hair loss. No one wants to start a new life like this. No one. I don't know anyone who does. And I probably wouldn't have gotten married. Which could have trickled down but because I was in the healing process, and because I was working towards something, I was, absolutely tenacious, perseverant, and it was endless. Endless obsession to absolutely getting the results that you see now.

So quitting is not the answer. What I would say is that these would be my tips to overcome this sensation of quitting or the thinking of quitting, or the idea of quitting. I would say take a break. And just like I took a break in Pilates class, but I muscled through it and I kept going and even maybe at a lower strength or at a lower exertion level. I would say take a break, take a break and take a break as often as you need and listen to your body, listen to your body because just like in Pilates or in yoga or in any sport or in anything that you're doing, taking a break, even at work, you take a break, you take vacation. In the US we don't have amazing amounts of a vacation like they do in Europe or in other countries, but I would say that take a break if you need it, call it a sick day, call it a mental health day, call it vacation, but take a break.

And pause, pause a little bit and pause maybe all the other noises and distractions that are going around in your life. Because many times we like to cover up a situation by doing something else, by distracting ourselves with something else. So for example, the clear example here would be the student wants to, needs to, has to do homework, has a final exam, maybe looming, has a final project on the horizon and instead of doing that, they go out and party. Instead of doing that, they go out and play sports. Instead of doing that, they go out and spend extra time at the park or at the gym or everything else.

Instead of doing these other things because they're procrastinating, because they're putting this other stuff, to the side, or maybe they just don't want to show up for school. They don't want to show up for that project. They don't want to do it. So this way they distract themselves with social media, with TV, with all these other things that are not giving them any benefit. And so as adults or as children, we always do this in some nature in some form. And so being mindful and understanding to pause all the distractions, to pause everything else, and focus on what's going on, focus on you, focus on what your needs are, focus on your priorities, focus on what's important, what's not important.

So for example, when I have work to do, I focus on that and only on that. I'm not distracted by anything else. No phone calls, no social media, no text messages, no nothing. It's only that. And in many ways, we need to focus on something. In this case, your hair goals and hair growth in order to achieve it. So, many times it's best actually to put away all the noise, to put away all the distractions that are going on so that you can move forward with your hair goals and your hair growth. Another thing I'd like to mention is low hanging fruit. And this kind of goes along with taking a break, but not so much.

So low hanging fruit. What is that? If you can't do a, b and d and d today, at least do a, at least do b or at least do one of the a, b, c, d, out of the long laundry list of things and call it a day. Do as much as you can. As a mom, I really understand this more now than ever before. At one point in my life, I was traveling like crazy and working like crazy, all simultaneously travel for work, mind you. And my time was extremely limited. But I found time for some reason, some way, somehow I found time to do laundry, to cook, eat good meals, to do the dishes, etcetera, etcetera.

Now, as a mom, things, get a little more complicated. I also have more grace and compassion with myself and say, Hey, if I can't do a, b, c, d, e, f, g today, at least let me do a, b, c, at least let me do a. And in a way it's like a baby step, but in another way, it's also low hanging fruit. Let's do what's easiest for you. You know what I mean? Let's do what's easiest and let's leave the hard stuff maybe for another day. So instead of quitting, take this approach of doing low hanging fruit. And then add on little by little as you start to feel better as you start to muscle through it and gain more energy, gain more confidence, gain more results, gain more momentum to move forward.

And another thing I would say. Working towards something is better than nothing, and this is where the baby steps come in, working towards something is better than nothing. So taking action is better than no action. Thinking about it, pondering, understanding, learning is better than doing nothing about it. And be mindful of what you're learning and what information you're taking in, right? Are you just going to take in willy nilly information off the internet? Or are you going to take on a strategic approach that has proven results and it's a proven method, right?

So there's a couple ways to move around that and navigate that. So working towards something is always better than nothing. And this reminds me a lot of car payments. When I bought my first car, I didn't have a lump sum of money to purchase my car. Back when I was in my twenties. So what did I have to do? I needed to have payments and each month I paid a payment, just like people with mortgages, right? You have payments that you make each month. If this is the case, at least I'm working towards something and at the end of so many years. Then I own the car outright. Then I own the house outright. And there's no shame in that. There's no shame in taking these smaller steps to get to the end goal. There's no shame in that at all.

And at the end of it, at least you're moving towards the goal. You're moving towards home ownership. You're moving towards owning the car you're moving towards the knowledge and experience and guidance and information necessary to heal and reverse your alopecia to heal and reverse and stop the hair loss, right? It's sometimes is needed little by little. And, like they say, you can't do everything all at once. It's impossible. You can't brush your teeth, eat, wash your hair and cook a meal all at once. It's impossible. But if we take these smaller approaches, then it is possible, for example, taking the payment plan for the Hair N' Heal program is getting you on the right track. It's getting you in the right direction. You're getting the information now and you're going to be working towards your hair goals and your hair growth now.

So that's something to consider too. And the last part I wanted to mention was that understand that the investment is in yourself. And this is a huge one because as you can see I already have my hair, I already have my health. I'm thriving, I know the key ingredients and successes towards health. I know what my blind spots are. I know exactly what will bring me back to alopecia. I know exactly what will protect me against it. And I know exactly what to do, not just for me, but also for my family. And so the investment is in you.

And what I would say with that is that no one's coming to save you. No one is going to do this for you except for you. It's like losing weight. I can tell you and coach you on how to lose weight because I've done it myself. I gained 50 pounds with my pregnancy and I lost it all within nine months. And, it was just done. You set a goal and you accomplish it. Bam! At least that's how I operate. And that's how I want to encourage and motivate you to operate too. You can have a goal, we can set it, and we can get there. And just like I lost those 50 pounds, anyone else can lose those 50 pounds too. Anyone else can lose weight. But guess what? It's you running on the treadmill. It's you focusing on your diet and lifestyle. It's you creating new habits. It's you accomplishing the goal.

So when we go to the Olympics, when people go to the Olympics, when Olympians go to the Olympics, it's them running the race. It's not their coach. It's them having to do the work, not their coach. So keep in mind that the investment is always going to be for you. It's going to be for your benefit. It's going to be for your betterment. It's for your best self. It's for your future self. And for those of you who have families, this is a huge eye opener and learning lesson for them, too because then you avoid it. You avoid all the pitfalls, all the wasting of time, all the wasting of money on gimmicks, and all the runarounds that we do in search of a cure all for hair loss.

And as there is no one size fits all. This is why a tailored customized approach is the only way to go. So if you feel like quitting take those baby steps, take a break, pause, grab the low hanging fruit, take the payment plan, take the next step towards getting there. If you can't do a, b, c, d, e, f, g, at least do a, at least do a, b, c and give yourself more grace and compassion. And before you even throw everything out the window and say, no, I'm going to really quit. And this is it, this is I'm done, I don't want to deal with this anymore. Understand that you're avoiding much more than just hair loss. There's so much more at stake here.

And this does trickle down into every other aspect of your life. Whether it's your mental health, emotional health, physical health, spiritual health, your health in general, overall, but then also in your relationships, also in, your career, also in, how you show up in life with your activities, with your children, with your spouse, with your partners, etcetera.

This shows up in every area of life. And so if you don't heal, there are ramifications to that. And I talk about this a little bit, I think it was like two podcast episodes ago where it was "Why you should heal before getting pregnant" because this also leads to ramifications should you not adhere to them. And so this is all very helpful for you to hear and understand because quitting is normally not the best solution and maybe it might give you some freedom right now to say: Okay I quit and I'm going to shave my head and I'm going to be done with this, but you're also hiding, you're also making yourself smaller.

When really we're made to live a big life, we're made to live our fullest in our best life. And it's on the other side of the obstacle. It's on the other side of the challenge. It's on the other side of the learning lesson. And that's what alopecia is, it's a learning lesson for all of us. It's a huge learning lesson for me and for all my clients, but they wouldn't be getting there like Shannon and her son or Juliet or like anyone else, they wouldn't be getting there had they had not had the guidance, the knowledge, the empowerment, the education. So I'll leave you with this. Don't quit, you are worth so much more than quitting. And at the end of the day you do yourself more harm because this is for you. Your healing of hair loss is for you. It's not for anyone else.

It's for you, but I will say your healing also trickles down to your loved ones, to your children, to your family, to your friends, to your community, to your work, to everybody else. It does trickle down. So just like we can always be in a bad mood and that shows up everywhere, even when you go shopping, it shows up even when you're on the phone, it shows up with everybody, but when you're in a good mood, when you're healed and you're whole, when you're complete, when you have your hair growth and it's not going to go away, this is the true freedom and this also trickles out into every area of life and brings you up and it upgrades you in every area of life as well.

I hope this helps. Don't quit, you are worth it. Don't quit, you are worth so much more. And this understand that hair loss is just one challenge, one obstacle in one small chapter of your life and you can overcome this and you can heal and you can get over this. But you gotta take action, even if it's baby steps, even if it's low hanging fruit, even if it's little by little, even if it's just monthly, even if it is day to day, but this is for you and this is your investment in you. I'll leave you with that.

Take care. Bye.