Episode 96 - What is the Alopecia Culture and How Does it Affect You!

Hello, everybody. And welcome back to the Alopecia Angel Podcast, I am your host, Johanna Dahlman. Today, we are going to be talking about what your alopecia culture is what alopecia culture is in general, and how this affects you.

But before I do, I wanted to go ahead and just say that my heart is so full because I've been bombarded with so many success stories this week from clients. I've been bombarded just out of the blue with via emails, via messages, before and after pictures and it's so heartwarming to receive this from adults, from children, from parents, and I love seeing before and after pictures, I'm sure you do too. But I love doing what I do because I get to see this. And again, when I see that this is happening to clients in various countries and various cities from various different walks of life, I know that it's possible for you to, if you're listening to this. I know that it's possible for anyone who wants to heal their hair loss and their alopecia. And I truly say that struggling is 100% optional, that doing this the hard way is optional, just like anything else in life.

Today, this morning, I was driving on my way back and I was thinking about how wonderful it was years back, I had a flat tire and I, it was like maybe 7AM. and I was trying to get to a job interview, this was long years ago, more than 20 years ago. And all of a sudden a bunch of guys in a truck at 7AM at the supermarket, they're like: Hey, do you need help? And I was like: Yeah. Because they saw me, I was in a suit, I was ready for my interview. And they're like: You have a flat tire. I'm like: I know. And so they changed it right there, and even though I had the name or the service to have them come out and change your tire, I knew that would take over an hour. These guys did it in 10 to 15 minutes.

And in many ways, I know that there have been people in my life, whether I know them or not, who've helped me along the way. And what I'm trying to say, I guess what this story is that we can choose to see the blessing, we can choose to see the help. We don't have to do everything ourselves. And I say this also as a type A person, wanting to get everything done herself, wanting to do everything herself. And it doesn't have to be that way. We can ask for help and it's okay to ask for help. And now just the opposite, because that was a, one of the life lessons that I've learned along the way is that asking for help is more than okay, and on top of it, then, when people offer it, take them up on it. When people show you that they can do this and they can help you like give them full control.

And what I like to do now is ask for help. I love to raise my hand. I don't know it all, but at the same time I'm willing to learn. And I think this is the key to success in general, is like when you're willing to learn, when you're open minded, when you're willing to ask for help and you get the help, this is where the magic happens, this is where you're able to take shortcuts in life. So instead of having that life lesson, take you 10 hours or in that case with the flat tire have a service come out: Okay, I had the service, but I knew they would be at least an hour minimum, if not two hours until they actually got to me, depending on how backlogged they were versus these guys who were quick for them and in less than 15 minutes, I was on the road back into my back onto my drive to the interview and, made it on time.

So the thing is, ask for help, get the help that you need. We're here to serve you and I know you can heal. And again, if you want more inspiration, if you want to wake up each day with the motivation to move forward and to do this, look on alopecianangel.com You can see the success stories at the top, you can also see all the podcasts and all the interviews that I've had with clients, but then also on social media, we love to post stories as well.

So going back to today's topic. The alopecia culture, and having alopecia and then, being diagnosed in the United States, living in the Netherlands after that, or during, I should say, during that transition. During for around six, seven years, and then moving to Japan and then moving back to the US, I see how people have their own culture for hair. And a lot of it ties in with the culture of the country.

So for example, in Japan, it's all about the look, the aesthetics of you. If you go to Japan, you'll see that women are very finely dressed. You'll never see them in sweats. Tell you that much. Never see them in sweats. They're very curated, they're very primmed and proper, they're all wearing long dresses for the most part, they're all wearing, dressed, makeup done. They're never looking disheveled. I've never seen a Japanese lady look disheveled. Never. And even the elderly ones, they still, put it together because the appearances matter in in Japan.

So when I was there, I went to a department store just looking around and the first level had the beauty products and all your makeup and all this, but then it also had a big section for weeks. Hair loss happens also in Japan, of course, it happens everywhere. But they had a big section for wigs, all different types of wigs. And, they looked at this as very natural, and I can understand why wigs were such a big thing, because again, it's about appearances.

In the Netherlands, when I was there, and I met not just other people with alopecia, but I also met and saw random people, whether it was at the train station or at the supermarket or just day to day, I also saw lots of people there with alopecia and it was clearly alopecia areata or different types of hair loss that you could see what was going on. And they wore it, I don't want to say like a badge of honor, but they wore it because it was just who they were at that time, right?

So for example, if I fell down and skid my knee, I would just be having my knee open, right? Because it's healing because it's just, it's happening, and it's happened and it's healing and it's taking its time, but it's a skinned knee or, it's a scraped knee and it might be a little bloody, it might be a little crusty, but it's healing. And in the Netherlands, the culture is very forward. It's very blunt. It's very, What's the word? It's very open. It's a very open culture. It's an open culture where very different than other cultures, right?

For example, in Japan, everything is shut behind doors, behind drapes, behind, there's layers into getting not just into a friendship with people there, but also into the layers of getting into the home or even the restaurant. There's a layer to get into the restaurant. And in the Netherlands, it's just the opposite. All the windows have no drapes, no curtains, everything's wide open for them to see, for you to see, for neighbors to see. It's almost like they have nothing to hide. And this is the type of culture that the Netherlands is. It's like they wear their emotions on their sleeve, they wear their thoughts on their sleeve. So there's no filter whatsoever. So they say what they say and they just, tell you exactly what they mean and what they say without any apologies.

And it does feel a little brash maybe to some others. For me I actually welcomed it. I didn't mind it at all that they were so open and honest, brutally honest many times with me. Because, at least, where they're coming from and where, what they're thinking and that perspective, so then you can also navigate that as well. And then of course in the US, we also have a different culture, and we're a melting pot source. We're not all Dutch, we're not all Japanese, we're a melting pot of sorts. And then, of course, state to state, this is also going to look very different, right?

Whether you're wearing a beanie because it's cold in Minnesota, or whether you're, wearing it bald and proud, or just wearing your hair loss as it is because you live in the hot south. So it's going to look very different depending where you live, but then also the alopecia culture and the alopecia culture is going to look different in every country, in every city, in every state, in every province. It really does. And it does mix in with the local culture.

I wanted to bring this up because you become what you believe, let me say that again, you become what you believe. And this is important for you to know, because when we are on our journey of healing, the influences, the culture of other places or of other people could be trickling into our culture, could be dripping into our mindset and our thoughts and our limitations and our ability and our realm of possibility. So for example, I actually have a client right now and she lives in, no man's land in Australia, out in the boonies, far from anything, but lo and behold, she's able to do this program online. Lo and behold, she's able to connect with somebody, she's able to get help, she's able to move into her journey and heal at a faster rate.

And what I'm trying to say is that we have to be aware, careful, cognizant, and vigilant with the culture that we adapt to. Some are good, some are bad, some will promote healing, and some others will keep you stuck. Some other types of cultures will keep you stuck. So for example, I have approached many times with people. In person, when I come across them at supermarkets or at air airports or anywhere else that have alopecia in a gentle fashion, of course, I approach them and I let them know that healing is possible on that, if they want it, it's always available to them.

And sometimes people don't even know that healing is actually an option. That healing and reversing alopecia is even an option, imagine that. Some people think that this is it, that this is their destiny and that's it, just because the doctor told them. And so you have to be mindful and weary of the culture that you are embracing or taking in or going into. Whether it's you moving to a new state, city, country, etcetera. Or whether it's just you locally where you're at, because that will influence you.

And again, our beliefs allow us to become who we want to be. So if you want to be healed, whole, hairy, with full hair growth, that's possible for you. The belief needs to be there, but then also we need to also protect ourselves with a little bit of a boundary to ensure that no other cultures, and mindsets and perspectives of the opposite or of the negative side of it, or of just being stuck or just accept or just this or just that trickles into our environment, because this is very key. It's very key.

I have a client who's in the program and her husband and her mom tell her the opposite. Even though she's in this program, even though she's a health and wellness coach, even though she knows she can heal and her husband and her mom are telling her: Just accept it, it's okay, don't worry about it. But that's not the support that she's looking for. That's not the support that she wants, she wants to heal and she wants to be supported.

And I will say that it's very hard for outsiders to support you. I say this also from experience because at the time my boyfriend, who's now my husband, only knew so much on how to support me and he navigated those waters very treacherously, very cautiously. My mom, my family, my brothers, my sisters, like they just prefer to keep it quiet, they prefer not to say anything, not to bring it up because it was a sensitive topic, because it was a trigger point because they didn't know how I would react.

Because my reactions were day by day roller coaster. It was very moody and very, interchangeable on a daily, weekly basis. But of course, because so many things were happening to me and no one was understanding me. I get that and I see this, how hard it is for them, just as it was for me and probably for them just as much because again, it's like you're helpless and you can't say anything, you can't do anything, and whatever you say could be construed as something wrong or negative.

And so, it is sometimes better to play neutral to be neutral and to not say anything. In terms of alopecia culture, what is culture in general? And this is just the definition of culture. It is the beliefs the behaviors, the food, traditions of that area of wherever you live, whether that's in Mississippi or in Texas or in Quebec, or in Canada, or in Australia, or in the UK or anywhere else.

So one thing is the country, you locally of you in this country, you in the city, whether you're an expat or a foreigner or not, or whether you've lived there for so long where you feel and you are of that country. And then on top of it, there's that extra layer of culture. And you can throw in the different layers of culture from your family, your country, your school, your work. Because working at one job is going to have a different culture than another job, right?

And so every area of life has a different culture and then you mix it in and then that's what brings you who you are. And in terms of alopecia, there is a different culture and people see this in different ways. I was reading an article the other day and I found out about a conference for bald people, and there's a national conference, and it's the first one ever in the US and it's for bald people with hair loss. And the demographics tend to be women of color. I didn't see any men in the marketing or anywhere else, and it was more of an empowered approach of their bald and they have their power or they have their will and their life, due to this, but because of this, they celebrate it.

So it's more of a celebration in their sense of being bald and having this conference together to come together in a community. And it seemed just from the marketing standpoint very positive. But again, they were all bald. Here I am trying to think: Do I think that they would want me as a presenter? Do I think that they would want me to speak even though I've healed and my gut reaction was probably not. Because maybe they're not looking to get healed. Maybe they're wanting to just continue to be bald. Maybe it just doesn't bother them anymore.

And so, these types of questions, it's not a one size fits all. Not all of us want to heal, care to heal, or even, again, believe it's an option for us. But for those who do believe. It's possible for those who do want it's possible for those who do the work. It's possible, everything's possible. And the same could be said for anything in life. Not everyone wants to be a gazillionaire, not everyone wants to be rich and famous, not everybody wants to own a thousand acre farm. Not everyone wants to fly to the moon, not everyone wants to travel. It's the same thing, there's different pockets of people who want and need different things in life.

But many times their wants, outweigh their needs, like they could be needing to heal because hair loss is much more than just hair. But then the culture says: I really don't need it. I'm okay. I'm just going to accept it. And this could influence you in a good way or a bad way. And so, at the end of this, we need to be careful, cautious and vigilant as to what our wants are, what our needs are, understand that everything's possible for us, that we can have what we want because whatever we want wants us, right? Just like in the last episode. But then furthermore, we become what we believe. If we believe the same as everyone else around us, then we're going to be left with the same or maybe a little less, right? You are the average of the five people around you, that you hang out with the most.

And so in the same token, you want to be empowered to rise up and be around and stick around to people who want more, believe more, have the healing, have the hair, who have the knowledge And this is why you're probably listening to this podcast, because not only do I share my story, but also the stories of others who have healed, and this is very inspirational. If you aspire to be governor or president of a country one day, you would probably want to start reading biographies, right? Of those people who became president, of those people who became governors, or those people who became city officials, etc.

Same situation. If you aspire and you want to heal, you can, and then reading about these inspiring stories or hearing about them from the horse's mouth is even more exciting when you have them in your back pocket, like in a podcast. So be vigilant, be careful, be cautious, and start to see, start to look, start to notice what is the culture in my area, in my city, in my state, province, in my country, what is this culture? Because I will say the culture from one area to another area is going to be completely different.

As I've already described with the Netherlands, the US and Japan, it's going to be completely different. And even though those ladies who I spoke to, who I approached, or even the actual organizations for alopecia that I've contacted in the Netherlands, they didn't want to hear anything about it, they didn't want to hear anything about healing. And I've always scratched my head about this it's like, why is that? Why do people not want to hear about the possibility of healing? Why is that? Do you just want people to be in this one position and this one stuck in the mud rut? And not progress and not move forward when we have so much to do, we have so much purpose, we have so much drive, we have so many things that we all want to do and accomplish.

Why is that? Why keep people stuck? Why keep people sick? I never understood this. And many times in other countries as well, or even, when I've contacted other alopecia organizations, whether that was in Australia, Canada, or the US, they also didn't want to hear about it. They didn't want to hear about healing naturally, and this too also concerns me. But then when I start looking at the numbers, when I start looking at what healthcare is, when I start looking at who's providing the funding for these organizations. Then I understand that it goes back to the cycle of greed, it goes back to the cycle of "It's a business" healthcare is a business. The funding that these organizations garner are from pharmaceutical companies. So of course they want to push pharmaceuticals onto their, attendees, participants, etcetera. Versus showing them a natural and holistic way of healing.

And this is also concerning because that's also another culture. Thinking that pharmaceuticals, drugs and pills and potions are one way to heal when there isn't no proven fact that it does heal versus your own biology, versus your own body supporting it and creating a magnificent. Support system so that you can heal and overcome this in less time.

I'll leave you with that because these are some of the things that I've seen in the culture. And I think that once you start blazing a trail, once you start creating more and more attention towards the possibilities towards the belief that it's possible for everybody, regardless of age, race, ethnicity, or where you live, or how long it's been, then the more it's going to catch on. But you have to believe in order to become who you want to be. You also have to, take action. And this is why maybe taking the pills, potions and lotions is a very easy fix, but it's not a fix. It's actually a backfire. It's not a fix at all.

So, I'll leave you with these thoughts and I'll leave you with thinking about the culture and the culture that you want to gravitate towards, the culture that you want to embrace, the culture that you want to create within your own community, within your own house, within your own neighborhood. Because this is important and I see this even with my child, you know what am I going to instill in my child, I would want as a parent to instill that they can do anything that they can overcome anything. And it's sometimes it's the strategy, sometimes it's the approach, and whether they're playing on the playground, or you know trying to build a science project. There's going to be a different approach and strategy for everything and even navigating schools and what type of schools and curriculum that's out there. There are so many different types.

And so it's all about really looking at that culture and what foments, what breeds, what builds upon these values that we all share or have. And so, this is also key to reevaluate the values that you have, the thinking, the mindset that you have, right? Because if you think you can do anything and be anything, then that's probably going to pertain to a certain type of school or schooling or curriculum versus maybe the general. And so this is also very intrinsic into our belief system as we move into from schooling to adulthood and so on and so forth. It builds upon each other.

And so what we start out with doesn't mean that we have to end up with. For example, I was never told I can be anything. I was never told I can do anything, but later on in life, as I started accomplishing many things, overcoming many challenges, Including alopecia, I knew and I still know deep down I can do anything and I can, be anything too, and I can also overcome any challenge. And sometimes, yes, I do have to raise up my hand and ask for help like I needed with the changing of the tire right then and there, because I didn't want to get my suit dirty. And maybe sometimes, yes, I do get that help, or I do, look for a coach, or I do look for somebody who's accomplished what I'm looking to do so I can do it in less time. And that's also a strategic route, that's also the strategy and the approach that one could take versus taking the long route and trying to do everything yourself.

So I hope this helps, I look forward to all your questions, comments please rate and review the Alopecia Angel Podcast. We're here to support and serve you. And I want this to be available to everybody, so the more ratings we have, the better it is for everyone to find us.

Take care. I look forward to talking to you next time. Bye.